"How do I get published?"

Every week I get emails from people with questions about getting published. I love to be helpful, but some questions just annoy the muse out of me.

This week I received an email that reads as follows:

"Kimberley, I just graduated from highs chool and I have some poems I'd like to get published. Your an author, so how do I get started? I'd really like to get a book published thank you."

Aside from the spelling and grammatical errors (and she spelled my name wrong!!), questions like this are a bear to answer. People usually don't like my reply, even though I am giving free advice on my own time, because they don't want to learn the basics or spend time writing queries. They want a quick answer. I think many of them believe I will say, "Oh, I would love to publish your poems. Why don't you just send them to me and you can be famous in no time with no work and no money."

It doesn't happen like that, as any real author knows. Before you shoot off a "help me quick" email to an author, consider these tips:

1) Any advice you are getting is on their own time. Be respectful of that.

2) If you want a realistic answer, ask a realistic question. Entire books have been written on "how to get published." Don't expect someone to send you a magic pill via email.

3) Be short and specific. If you are stuck on a specific point, such as finding an illustrator for a children's book, feel free to ask if they have any resources for finding an illustrator. (Unless of course they write adult non-fiction in which case you are truly wasting both your time and theirs.)

And for goodness sakes - if you're going to ask questions about getting published, at least spellcheck your message. (And spell the author's name right!)